dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
John Barrowman recently posted these two pictures, one from his "Torchwood" days, the other a recent one from the "Arrow" set. I couldn't help seeing the similarity! This is another one for my comparisons collection. I probably should start another masterlist! For now you'll have to click the tag to see the others: http://dieastra.livejournal.com/tag/comparisons

 photo John Handschuh 600 x 367.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
John Barrowman recently posted these two pictures, one from his "Torchwood" days, the other a recent one from the "Arrow" set. I couldn't help seeing the similarity! This is another one for my comparisons collection. I probably should start another masterlist!

For now you'll have to click the tag to see the others: http://dieastra.dreamwidth.org/tag/comparisons

 photo John Handschuh 600 x 367.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
I've posted some bits of this before, but never the whole process from start to finish. Especially for [profile] bloodsong13t who asked. Here is how I created Jack Harkness from a Max Steel figure. Thanks to a friend who found him and said the face looks similar. For years I had searched for a figure. We now will also get an official Jack by Big Chief Studios (picture here) but he is not even on pre-order yet so that will take a while. In the meantime, here is my version! More pictures under the cut.

More pictures under the cut )

 photo P9060012.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
I've posted some bits of this before, but never the whole process from start to finish. Especially for [livejournal.com profile] bloodsong13t who asked. Here is how I created Jack Harkness from a Max Steel figure. Thanks to a friend who found him and said the face looks similar. For years I had searched for a figure. We now will also get an official Jack by Big Chief Studios (picture here) but he is not even on pre-order yet so that will take a while. In the meantime, here is my version! More pictures under the cut.

More pictures under the cut )

 photo P9060012.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
Yeah, basically. This is one of the things of my flail post and what I am waiting to pre-order. And then it will take at least another half year to actually get.

I've avoided posting pictures of Jack so far (these are from a convention last November) as some of us felt that the face was a bit off. I have to agree, I don't see quite John Barrowman in there yet, and the reason is that they usually go for a neutral expression with their figures, so they can be used for more scenes. Just a little smirk would do wonders to him. They also said though that they are still working on the head and it was barely ready for the con. So I am confident that by the time it is finished, we will be blown away as usual. Also the actors are always hugely involved and it is only done with their approval.

Aside from all this, what also threw me, how young he looks! But of course it has been ten years already and unfortunately John is not a never aging immortal (although you wouldn't believe he is approaching 50 either)

From day one, when I ordered that first Eleventh Doctor, it was my biggest wish to get a Jack and I actually wrote it into the comments section.

More pictures of other planned figures (War Doctor, Eight Doctor, Rose, Ninth Doctor, Clara, Tenth Doctor in pyjama) here: Upcoming Big Chief Studios Figures

 photo 51189164f064bbb31dc38bf6e1d77d0123fd390a_hq 330 x 600.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
Yeah, basically. This is one of the things of my flail post and what I am waiting to pre-order. And then it will take at least another half year to actually get.

I've avoided posting pictures of Jack so far (these are from a convention last November) as some of us felt that the face was a bit off. I have to agree, I don't see quite John Barrowman in there yet, and the reason is that they usually go for a neutral expression with their figures, so they can be used for more scenes. Just a little smirk would do wonders to him. They also said though that they are still working on the head though and it was barely ready for the con. So I am confident that by the time it is finished, we will be blown away as usual. Also the actors are always hugely involved and it is only done with their approval.

Aside from all this, what also threw me, how young he looks! But of course it has been ten years already and unfortunately John is not a never aging immortal (although you wouldn't believe he is approaching 50 either)

From day one, when I ordered that first Eleventh Doctor, it was my biggest wish to get a Jack and I actually wrote it into the comments section.

More pictures of other planned figures (War Doctor, Eight Doctor, Rose, Ninth Doctor, Clara, Tenth Doctor in pyjama) here: Upcoming Big Chief Studios Figures

 photo 51189164f064bbb31dc38bf6e1d77d0123fd390a_hq 330 x 600.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
[personal profile] sgamadison has an interesting question on her site: Name your captain and tell me why! This was my reply. I guess you can call that meta. I never did anything like that before, but there is a first time for everything!

As it turns out, my three favorite hero leader guys Captain James Kirk, Captain Jack Harkness and also Colonel Jack O’Neill have a lot in common. And not only that their names all start with J. Hope you like it!

I certainly seem to have a type! The hero leader type.

All three are good looking great leaders. They have sworn to protect the country / Earth / universe, and they would rather let themselves get tortured to death than to betray that. They are larger than life. When they come into a room, they get all the attention without doing anything. They just ARE. They also protect their team on all costs, put themselves forward and to the front, do whatever is necessary to draw the attention of the bad guys towards them. Classic line: “Do with me what you want but let my team go!” Who wouldn’t swoon at that? I mean, seriously. I would trust each of them blindly and go wherever they lead me.

And their leading comes natural. They don’t need to enforce it usually, they easily get the respect they deserve. They lead with a smile on their face and much leeway. They allow their teams to think for themselves, and listen to their opinions and occasionally even change their mind if they are good. But if they have reason to reprimand you, out comes the steel! Then they can be hard and cold and sharp and unrelenting. You would not want to be on their bad side! But they are fair. They give you a second chance, to put things right.

Once in a while they are forced to make the bad decisions, and their teams / friends might hate them for it. Still, as Jack O’Neill once put it, “this is what they pay them the big bucks for”. Sometimes they need to decide between the fate of one human and the whole universe, and they are able to make that decision for the greater good, no matter the cost to themselves. They refuse to talk about it afterwards and rather crack a joke to not let see anyone what they really feel. That they have emotions at all. It gets all bottled up inside but sometimes it becomes too much to bear. Nobody knows much about their personal life anyway, and usually there is not much to talk about either. They are married to their ship / their work. They are the first in the morning and the last in the evening, and stay all night and go for days without sleep if necessary. Even if they are hurt, in pain; they stay on their post as long as necessary to get out of this alive. They always care more for others than for themselves. They think they screw up any relationship because of the mad working hours, long time away from home or the military secrets they need to keep.

But, and that is the beauty, each one of them has someone they can confide in, someone to trust, someone where they don’t feel the need to play a role and are able to open up, show their true self. For the two military leaders, that would be their CMO – outside their chain of command, equal in rank and a good friend for many years. Dr. McCoy for Kirk, Dr. Fraiser for O’Neill. Someone who has seen them in their darkest hours, hurt, in pain, who knows about the nightmares, every single secret, every broken bone. Someone who never would betray the trust put into them and who are able to give their valid input when needed and asked for. Or just a glass of Saurian Brandy. Who also know when they need to enforce that they are even higher in the chain of command and can overrule the captain / colonel for their own good, and when better let him be. A thing both Jack and Jim have in common – they try to get out of the infirmary / sickbay as soon as possible. They surely make life for their doctors not easy. They hate that place and all the prodding and probing with a passion. Probably because they spend so much time there… another Jack O’Neill quote: “Aliens are always poking me full of holes!” (and isn’t that true of Kirk also!). They don’t want anyone to see them weak. It goes against their pride.

Obviously, this is a bit different with Jack Harkness, but he also has someone who is always close when needed, Ianto. And just because he can’t really die doesn’t mean that dying isn’t still hurting. So he has his fair share of nightmares also, just different ones.

So, I can’t choose between those three alpha males. I just wish they would all meet and team up. The universe might not survive it though.

 photo Jack Jim Jack.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
[livejournal.com profile] sgamadison has an interesting question on her site: Name your captain and tell me why! This was my reply. I guess you can call that meta. I never did anything like that before, but there is a first time for everything! (seems [livejournal.com profile] alumfelga is rubbing off on me)

As it turns out, my three favorite hero leader guys Captain James Kirk, Captain Jack Harkness and also Colonel Jack O’Neill have a lot in common. And not only that their names all start with J. Hope you like it!

I certainly seem to have a type! The hero leader type.

All three are good looking great leaders. They have sworn to protect the country / Earth / universe, and they would rather let themselves get tortured to death than to betray that. They are larger than life. When they come into a room, they get all the attention without doing anything. They just ARE. They also protect their team on all costs, put themselves forward and to the front, do whatever is necessary to draw the attention of the bad guys towards them. Classic line: “Do with me what you want but let my team go!” Who wouldn’t swoon at that? I mean, seriously. I would trust each of them blindly and go wherever they lead me.

And their leading comes natural. They don’t need to enforce it usually, they easily get the respect they deserve. They lead with a smile on their face and much leeway. They allow their teams to think for themselves, and listen to their opinions and occasionally even change their mind if they are good. But if they have reason to reprimand you, out comes the steel! Then they can be hard and cold and sharp and unrelenting. You would not want to be on their bad side! But they are fair. They give you a second chance, to put things right.

Once in a while they are forced to make the bad decisions, and their teams / friends might hate them for it. Still, as Jack O’Neill once put it, “this is what they pay them the big bucks for”. Sometimes they need to decide between the fate of one human and the whole universe, and they are able to make that decision for the greater good, no matter the cost to themselves. They refuse to talk about it afterwards and rather crack a joke to not let see anyone what they really feel. That they have emotions at all. It gets all bottled up inside but sometimes it becomes too much to bear. Nobody knows much about their personal life anyway, and usually there is not much to talk about either. They are married to their ship / their work. They are the first in the morning and the last in the evening, and stay all night and go for days without sleep if necessary. Even if they are hurt, in pain; they stay on their post as long as necessary to get out of this alive. They always care more for others than for themselves. They think they screw up any relationship because of the mad working hours, long time away from home or the military secrets they need to keep.

But, and that is the beauty, each one of them has someone they can confide in, someone to trust, someone where they don’t feel the need to play a role and are able to open up, show their true self. For the two military leaders, that would be their CMO – outside their chain of command, equal in rank and a good friend for many years. Dr. McCoy for Kirk, Dr. Fraiser for O’Neill. Someone who has seen them in their darkest hours, hurt, in pain, who knows about the nightmares, every single secret, every broken bone. Someone who never would betray the trust put into them and who are able to give their valid input when needed and asked for. Or just a glass of Saurian Brandy. Who also know when they need to enforce that they are even higher in the chain of command and can overrule the captain / colonel for their own good, and when better let him be. A thing both Jack and Jim have in common – they try to get out of the infirmary / sickbay as soon as possible. They surely make life for their doctors not easy. They hate that place and all the prodding and probing with a passion. Probably because they spend so much time there… another Jack O’Neill quote: “Aliens are always poking me full of holes!” (and isn’t that true of Kirk also!). They don’t want anyone to see them weak. It goes against their pride.

Obviously, this is a bit different with Jack Harkness, but he also has someone who is always close when needed, Ianto. And just because he can’t really die doesn’t mean that dying isn’t still hurting. So he has his fair share of nightmares also, just different ones.

So, I can’t choose between those three alpha males. I just wish they would all meet and team up. The universe might not survive it though.

 photo Jack Jim Jack.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
I've talked about "Star Trek Continues" before here: http://dieastra.dreamwidth.org/144652.html

In the meantime the fifth episode came out and I am seriously addicted to this show. The light, the sets, the camera work, the costumes, the special effects - everything is as close to the original as possible. And Vic is a very convincing Kirk. Sometimes he looks and sounds like William Shatner.

Can't wait for the next episode. If you are a "Star Trek" fan and don't know this yet, watch it! (just don't start with number one which is the weakest in my opinion)

While I was scrolling through pictures on the STC Facebook page I suddenly saw a familiar face. John Barrowman kissing Vic Mignogna. That happened in 2014 in Orlando. So, this picture has two captains, Captain Kirk and Captain Harkness!

Would be cool if John's phone number was now in Vic's book for a possible role in a future episode... ♥ *dreams*


 photo 1526308_737933762906809_713706568_n.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
I've talked about "Star Trek Continues" before here: http://dieastra.livejournal.com/153103.html

In the meantime the fifth episode came out and I am seriously addicted to this show. The light, the sets, the camera work, the costumes, the special effects - everything is as close to the original as possible. And Vic is a very convincing Kirk. Sometimes he looks and sounds like William Shatner.

Can't wait for the next episode. If you are a "Star Trek" fan and don't know this yet, watch it! (just don't start with number one which is the weakest in my opinion)

While I was scrolling through pictures on the STC Facebook page I suddenly saw a familiar face. John Barrowman kissing Vic Mignogna. That happened in 2014 in Orlando. So, this picture has two captains, Captain Kirk and Captain Harkness!

Would be cool if John's phone number was now in Vic's book for a possible role in a future episode... ♥ *dreams*


 photo 1526308_737933762906809_713706568_n.jpg

It's true!

May. 3rd, 2015 10:14 pm
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
Remember, back in January John already talked about this - but then nothing came out of it, and both the BBC and Russel T. Davies said they have no idea.

Well, now it is indeed official! In his radio show a few hours ago John Barrowman announced that he recorded the first of many Big Finish Torchwood audio dramas.

This is the place to go to order them - the first one will be out in September

http://www.bigfinish.com/ranges/coming_soon_reverse/torchwood

Read the announcement on the BF Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/thebigfinish/photos/a.215895871772936.75031.215891121773411/1048929605136221/?type=1

 photo 11146554_1048929605136221_3790296917015244277_n.jpg

We also have a sound clip already:

https://www.facebook.com/thebigfinish/posts/1048957721800076

The 21st Century is when it all changes... and Big Finish is ready!

https://www.facebook.com/thebigfinish/photos/a.215895871772936.75031.215891121773411/1048926401803208/?type=1

 photo 11206956_1048926401803208_2119158041298614262_n.jpg

"Apologies to any of you trying to get on the site. The popularity of our Torchwood announcement has taken us a little by surprise and the vast, unprecedented number of visitors to our site is causing us some problems. We thought we were prepared. How could we have underestimated the great power of Torchwood?"

"You'll be pleased to know it's a bit of a hybrid - a mix of narration and full performance scenes, plus a couple of special extra touches. It's going to be a lot of fun!"

"The great thing is, this is just the start for Torchwood. We have the whole toy box to play with, and we share the continuity from the previous books, comics and audio plays, not to mention the tv series. You can be sure we're looking ahead at with lots of new ideas past these first 6 plays."

It's true!

May. 3rd, 2015 10:13 pm
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
Remember, back in January John already talked about this - but then nothing came out of it, and both the BBC and Russel T. Davies said they have no idea.

Well, now it is indeed official! In his radio show a few hours ago John Barrowman announced that he recorded the first of many Big Finish Torchwood audio dramas.

This is the place to go to order them - the first one will be out in September

http://www.bigfinish.com/ranges/coming_soon_reverse/torchwood

Read the announcement on the BF Facebook page here:

https://www.facebook.com/thebigfinish/photos/a.215895871772936.75031.215891121773411/1048929605136221/?type=1

 photo 11146554_1048929605136221_3790296917015244277_n.jpg

The 21st Century is when it all changes... and Big Finish is ready!

https://www.facebook.com/thebigfinish/photos/a.215895871772936.75031.215891121773411/1048926401803208/?type=1

 photo 11206956_1048926401803208_2119158041298614262_n.jpg

"Apologies to any of you trying to get on the site. The popularity of our Torchwood announcement has taken us a little by surprise and the vast, unprecedented number of visitors to our site is causing us some problems. We thought we were prepared. How could we have underestimated the great power of Torchwood?"

"You'll be pleased to know it's a bit of a hybrid - a mix of narration and full performance scenes, plus a couple of special extra touches. It's going to be a lot of fun!"

"The great thing is, this is just the start for Torchwood. We have the whole toy box to play with, and we share the continuity from the previous books, comics and audio plays, not to mention the tv series. You can be sure we're looking ahead at with lots of new ideas past these first 6 plays."

Flailing

Jan. 14th, 2015 02:19 am
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
It's 2 AM but I am still here, flailing about so many things at once, I don't even know where to start!

- the Public Choice Award and the Golden Globe for Matt Bomer

- that his Monty Clift movie will be made by HBO. I'll only have to wait like 2 years to be able to see it? So expect lots more flailing

- the announcement of the Torchwood radio plays

- the new weekly John Barrowman radioshow on Sundays. First one two days ago and I loved it!

- actually still not finished writing (and flailing) about the John Barrowman pantomime in Glasgow and the pictures we took, so expect more from that as well

- upcoming events this year: Torchwood Convention, John Barrowman concert tour and Benedict Cumberbatch as Hamlet on stage

- in May I will be able to purchase new Arrow action figures

- Today also Big Chief announced the headsculpt for their other Tenth Doctor 1:6 figure - in blue suit this time and with spiky hair. I am so getting that!

So, yeah. I guess you understand why I can't sleep?

Edit: I just realized I forgot one important thing to flail about! Every month we have a contest in our action figure group on Facebook and my entry for December won and is now for a month the header of the group! Isn't that awesome?

 photo Header600x346.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
I am so excited it is official! John already told a small group of fans at the stage door but we were asked to keep quiet for the moment. Today it is official, he chose the convention in Pasadena with lots of journalists to reveal that new Torchwood radio plays will be made, with the whole old team! I can't wait to listen to it.

So, let's spread the word, tweet it, share it, let them know we fans are still here and want more - and who knoes, one day we might even get the series back. There is always a way if you really want it.

Here's the link: http://communityvoices.post-gazette.com/arts-entertainment-living/tuned-in/item/38693-press-tour-more-torchwood-in-the-works

http://metro.co.uk/2015/01/15/torchwood-returning-as-radio-plays-bring-it-on-5022553/

http://www.radiotimes.com/news/2015-01-15/john-barrowman-working-on-torchwood-radio-plays-for-bbc
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
Title: Naked Roulette
Author: [personal profile] dieastra
Beta: Thank you [personal profile] tardisjournal for the beta!
Rating: M
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 1.970

Summary: The Torchwood team plays a rather unusual game of roulette.

Notes: This story was inspired by a drabble with the same title by [personal profile] iantojjackh You can read it here: http://iantojjackh.livejournal.com/106647.html
Posted with permission. Thank you for that!

*****

„Go jogging for an hour,“ Ianto had said. “Wear yourself out. Then come back to me.”

So Jack did. While he was running through the park, his mind started wandering. Wandering and wondering what Ianto had in store for him this time. He loved it when Ianto took control once in a while.

After running easily for a while, he steadily increased the pace and at the end of his run he was breathing heavily and feeling a satisfying tiredness. He couldn’t wait to get home. When did he start to think of Ianto’s flat as home, he mused.

When he came in through the door, all sweaty and exhausted, he wanted nothing more than a cuddle on the sofa and – probably? hopefully? – nice slow lovemaking. He tried to kiss Ianto on the spot, but was turned away.

“Patience, Jack. Go shower first. No need to get dressed afterwards.”

“Yes, Sir!” Jack flipped back and went to shower in a new world record. When he came back, he was disappointed to find that Ianto still was fully dressed. Clearly this evening was not going to Jack’s expectations so far.

And more weird things happened. Ianto had put the big table into the middle of the room, covered it with a green blanket, and set out body paint in the colours red and black.

„Lie down at the table, Jack. Face up, arms at your side.”

Ianto then turned and busied himself with his colours and a book Jack could not see the title of. Jack was so surprised that he just did as he was asked, but gave Ianto a puzzled look. Not that it didn’t do any good, being wasted at his backside. Which was actually a very nice backside, Jack noticed.

Ianto added a pillow under Jack’s head. “Now close your eyes.” Jack did that as well but of course not completely; he peeked under his eyelids as he was curious about what Ianto would be doing next.
Ianto didn’t seem to mind... )

Also posted at fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10778396/1/

Also posted at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506892
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
Title: Naked Roulette
Author: [livejournal.com profile] dieastra
Beta: Thank you [livejournal.com profile] tardisjournal for the beta!
Rating: M
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 1.970

Summary: The Torchwood team plays a rather unusual game of roulette.

Notes: This story was inspired by a drabble with the same title by [livejournal.com profile] iantojjackh You can read it here: http://iantojjackh.livejournal.com/106647.html
Posted with permission. Thank you for that!

*****

„Go jogging for an hour,“ Ianto had said. “Wear yourself out. Then come back to me.”

So Jack did. While he was running through the park, his mind started wandering. Wandering and wondering what Ianto had in store for him this time. He loved it when Ianto took control once in a while.

After running easily for a while, he steadily increased the pace and at the end of his run he was breathing heavily and feeling a satisfying tiredness. He couldn’t wait to get home. When did he start to think of Ianto’s flat as home, he mused.

When he came in through the door, all sweaty and exhausted, he wanted nothing more than a cuddle on the sofa and – probably? hopefully? – nice slow lovemaking. He tried to kiss Ianto on the spot, but was turned away.

“Patience, Jack. Go shower first. No need to get dressed afterwards.”

“Yes, Sir!” Jack flipped back and went to shower in a new world record. When he came back, he was disappointed to find that Ianto still was fully dressed. Clearly this evening was not going to Jack’s expectations so far.

And more weird things happened. Ianto had put the big table into the middle of the room, covered it with a green blanket, and set out body paint in the colours red and black.

„Lie down at the table, Jack. Face up, arms at your side.”

Ianto then turned and busied himself with his colours and a book Jack could not see the title of. Jack was so surprised that he just did as he was asked, but gave Ianto a puzzled look. Not that it didn’t do any good, being wasted at his backside. Which was actually a very nice backside, Jack noticed.

Ianto added a pillow under Jack’s head. “Now close your eyes.” Jack did that as well but of course not completely; he peeked under his eyelids as he was curious about what Ianto would be doing next.
Ianto didn’t seem to mind... )

Also posted at fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10778396/1/

Also posted at AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2506892
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
Title: Total Recall
Author: [personal profile] dieastra
Beta: Thank you [profile] bloodsong13t for the quick beta!
Rating: T
Characters: Malcolm Merlyn, Jack Harkness
Word Count: 1.694
Notes: A fix it / AU for Bloodsong 13’s story “Blood for Blood”. You can read it here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10642212/1/Blood-for-Blood-Execution but as the name says, it is quite bloody, so be warned! In short, Malcolm Merlyn was caught by Talia al Ghul and tortured (forcing Thea to do the actual knife-cutting in a twisted way to hurt both of them) and then left hung in chains to bleed out like a pig. Obviously, I couldn’t let him die in that cruel way, so here is what happened next!

Summary: After the events in “Blood for Blood” Malcolm Merlyn awakes from what he thought to be his certain death. Then a stranger turns up, bringing a message from the future.

<----<<< <----<<< <----<<<

The first time he awoke it was like awakening from a nightmare, only the nightmare continued. He tried to sit up but couldn’t as a weight was bearing down on him. He tried to take a deep breath but dirt was getting into his mouth and nose. He frantically spit it out, he thrashed, he choked, and soon lost conscious again.

The second time he awoke, he found that last time he had had the instinct to bring up his hands and cover his face with them, so at least this time he wouldn’t choke to death again within seconds. Again? What the -? He pushed the thought away for now and tentatively tried to open his eyes. It did not make a difference, it was still pitch black and there was still dirt above him.

His heartbeat stopped for a second. He was buried alive. A deep fear he never before had known came over him. Of all the cruel ways to die, this must be the worst. But wait a minute – how was he even still alive? He clearly remembered his own death. The way the curare took over his body, unable for him to move a muscle. Unable to scream as well when Talia al Ghul forced Thea to use the knife on him. Just as well, he didn’t want his daughter to suffer any more than necessary but it did not make any difference, in the end she had realized that paralyzation did not mean he was not able to feel every single cut she administered. He’d never forget the look of horror on her face as the knife fell from her hands and she stumbled away, retching. And it was all his fault that the girl had been put through all of this. Some father he was.

After they had put him into the chains again he had tried to give her strength, he wanted her to live on without an unbearable guilt. He had no idea whether it had worked or not but it had been all he could do before dying from blood loss.

And now here he was and he was still alive. How was that possible?

One thing was for sure, he needed to get out. He tried to think what he had read about people being caught in an avalanche, how you could dig yourself out of the snow. But snow would pack solid, you were able to make a cave for yourself to breathe. The dirt above him was loose, the more he dug at it, the more it fell down.

Still, lying back and waiting for death was no option, so he kept at it, as futile as it seemed, and he slowly made progress. He tried to shove the dirt from above him under himself, raising himself up that way. He had no idea how many more times he died and woke up again when he started to see some light. He finally had reached the surface of his want-to-be grave. He never before had been so relieved to see the sun.

He crawled away a few feet and then collapsed on his back. His lungs heaved for air, his heartbeat took a long time to slow down from the adrenalin, and he was just grateful to lie there, in the middle of nowhere apparently, with no immediate threat. Doing absolutely nothing than being happy to have survived. Again.

He could hear cars in the distance. There must be a road. But wait – the noise was getting louder. The car came straight towards him. He looked around, for a tree, a bush, anything to be able to hide, but there was nothing. And he had nothing to fight with. He was as helpless as a newborn baby. Oh how he longed for his bow in that minute! It was like a second limb for him and he felt crippled without it.

All he had left were his fists and legs, and he would make sure to use them properly in a fight. When the car stopped in front of him, he was standing tall and proud and ready for whatever would happen next.

Or so he thought.

A man in a business suit got out of the car, holding up his hands to show he had no weapons. Malcolm did not relax at all but the man kept his distance.

“Mr. Merlyn, I presume?” The man cleared his throat when he got no answer. “Ah, well, I’m sorry. You must be very confused, but I don’t have any answers to your questions. I was only paid to bring the car here and then leave again. So, mission accomplished.”

With that he threw the car key towards Malcolm, who caught it in a reflex. Still too stunned to say anything, he just watched as the man opened the trunk, got out a small bike, waved good-bye and left just like that.

Malcolm sat down on the driver seat and noticed a netbook on the passenger seat. He opened the lid but before he could push any buttons, a programme was opening by itself.

And then his own face stared at him from the screen. It was the most creepy thing he had ever experienced. The man wore his hair differently but other than that he could be his long lost twin.

Malcolm did not know anything about a twin. Rebecca and Tommy had been his small family, and both were dead now. Thea was the only one left, and he needed to go and make sure she was safe.

Strangely, the man on the screen just looked at him, as if waiting for him to stop thinking and actually pay attention.

“Who are you?” he finally asked.

The man on the screen chuckled. “As cliché as it may sound – I’m you, in a nutshell.”

“But how is it possible to talk with myself in a live chat?”

“This isn’t a live chat. It is a pre-recorded one sided conversation, put into a video. See, I have been in your shoes many many years ago. I remember every single question I asked – you will ask – and so I know which answers to give. It’s a bit – complicated.”

Malcolm was stunned to say the least.

“If you know everything that happened to me, then it would have been nice if you actually sent the man a bit earlier, to help with digging me out!”

The man on the screen who had not given a name yet went serious.

“I couldn’t. Everything needs to happen exactly as it already has happened. If we change one single detail, who knows what it would do to the world as you know it, the universe even. The beat of the wings of a butterfly and all that. Trust me.”

And Malcolm felt that he indeed could trust this strange man. There was something about him that said he was speaking the truth, as strange as it sounded. And if you couldn’t trust yourself, who else could you ever trust?

“So, if you are me, and speaking from the future apparently, how come you’re not looking older?”

“How come you are still alive, even though you already bled to death once and choked on dirt how many more times? And while we’re at it – how come you were looking like an older brother to Tommy, but not like a father?”

Malcolm stayed silent as he had no answer. He always had put it down to his good genes. Or Nanda Parbat, that strange place. But clearly there must be more to this story.

“Okay, here’s the deal. I – you – had a different life before. One in which you were a hero in fact, and helped people. Then things… happened… that brought you onto this dark path. I am not proud of what I have done but it did make sense in light of what happened. I needed to forget everything, just wanted to go away from it all, and so I retconned myself. Retcon is a drug that makes you forget. I had aimed to only forget a few years, but apparently the dose was too strong, so I forgot completely about this whole identity. My name’s Jack Harkness by the way. Oh yeah, and you can’t die. Or rather, you can die but you won’t stay dead. No matter what.”

“So how come you remember again now who you are? Were? Will be? My, this is complicated.” Malcolm groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face.

“See the little pill box next to the netbook? It’s a pill that can reverse the effects of the Retcon. Once you take it, you will remember everything. But be prepared, with all the good will also come all the bad, and there is no going back this time. So choose the right moment. But, obviously, one day you have to take the pill. If you don’t, I won’t be here, and I won’t be able to send help, and it would take you days to get out of this desert by foot. Days Thea does not have to be honest. She needs you.”

Thea. Right. Here he was chatting away and she might be still in danger.

“How many more years with her do you give me?”

“It’s not about what I am willing to grant you. You’ll know when the time comes. To be completely open to you, you won’t see her grow old with grandchildren. You’ll have to leave long before that. When she starts noticing that she is getting older but you are not. Do you understand?”

“I promise I’ll take it. But now I really need to go.”

The man that had called himself Jack Harkness smiled. “That’s fine with me. She’s a great girl. And with that I’m saying good-bye. Good luck!”

The screen went dark. Malcolm started the motor. He turned the car around and went back the direction the man had come from, figuring that he must hit a road there somewhere. And then his GPS signal hopefully would pick up and tell him where the heck he was.

They had gone out of their ways to make sure nobody would ever find him again. For Talia al Ghul and the others, Malcolm Merlyn was dead, and he intended to leave it that way. It would make it easier to protect Thea. She deserved a father that was truly there for her.

He’d keep the pill with him wherever he went, in that little pendant he wore around his neck.

And one day a new adventure would begin.

The End


Also published at Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10709096/1/

Also published at Archive of our Own: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2344649
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
Title: Total Recall
Author: [livejournal.com profile] dieastra
Beta: Thank you [livejournal.com profile] bloodsong13t for the quick beta!
Rating: T
Characters: Malcolm Merlyn, Jack Harkness
Word Count: 1.694
Notes: A fix it / AU for Bloodsong 13’s story “Blood for Blood”. You can read it here https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10642212/1/Blood-for-Blood-Execution but as the name says, it is quite bloody, so be warned! In short, Malcolm Merlyn was caught by Talia al Ghul and tortured (forcing Thea to do the actual knife-cutting in a twisted way to hurt both of them) and then left hung in chains to bleed out like a pig. Obviously, I couldn’t let him die in that cruel way, so here is what happened next!

Summary: After the events in “Blood for Blood” Malcolm Merlyn awakes from what he thought to be his certain death. Then a stranger turns up, bringing a message from the future.

<----<<< <----<<< <----<<<

The first time he awoke it was like awakening from a nightmare, only the nightmare continued. He tried to sit up but couldn’t as a weight was bearing down on him. He tried to take a deep breath but dirt was getting into his mouth and nose. He frantically spit it out, he thrashed, he choked, and soon lost conscious again.

The second time he awoke, he found that last time he had had the instinct to bring up his hands and cover his face with them, so at least this time he wouldn’t choke to death again within seconds. Again? What the -? He pushed the thought away for now and tentatively tried to open his eyes. It did not make a difference, it was still pitch black and there was still dirt above him.

His heartbeat stopped for a second. He was buried alive. A deep fear he never before had known came over him. Of all the cruel ways to die, this must be the worst. But wait a minute – how was he even still alive? He clearly remembered his own death. The way the curare took over his body, unable for him to move a muscle. Unable to scream as well when Talia al Ghul forced Thea to use the knife on him. Just as well, he didn’t want his daughter to suffer any more than necessary but it did not make any difference, in the end she had realized that paralyzation did not mean he was not able to feel every single cut she administered. He’d never forget the look of horror on her face as the knife fell from her hands and she stumbled away, retching. And it was all his fault that the girl had been put through all of this. Some father he was.

After they had put him into the chains again he had tried to give her strength, he wanted her to live on without an unbearable guilt. He had no idea whether it had worked or not but it had been all he could do before dying from blood loss.

And now here he was and he was still alive. How was that possible?

One thing was for sure, he needed to get out. He tried to think what he had read about people being caught in an avalanche, how you could dig yourself out of the snow. But snow would pack solid, you were able to make a cave for yourself to breathe. The dirt above him was loose, the more he dug at it, the more it fell down.

Still, lying back and waiting for death was no option, so he kept at it, as futile as it seemed, and he slowly made progress. He tried to shove the dirt from above him under himself, raising himself up that way. He had no idea how many more times he died and woke up again when he started to see some light. He finally had reached the surface of his want-to-be grave. He never before had been so relieved to see the sun.

He crawled away a few feet and then collapsed on his back. His lungs heaved for air, his heartbeat took a long time to slow down from the adrenalin, and he was just grateful to lie there, in the middle of nowhere apparently, with no immediate threat. Doing absolutely nothing than being happy to have survived. Again.

He could hear cars in the distance. There must be a road. But wait – the noise was getting louder. The car came straight towards him. He looked around, for a tree, a bush, anything to be able to hide, but there was nothing. And he had nothing to fight with. He was as helpless as a newborn baby. Oh how he longed for his bow in that minute! It was like a second limb for him and he felt crippled without it.

All he had left were his fists and legs, and he would make sure to use them properly in a fight. When the car stopped in front of him, he was standing tall and proud and ready for whatever would happen next.

Or so he thought.

A man in a business suit got out of the car, holding up his hands to show he had no weapons. Malcolm did not relax at all but the man kept his distance.

“Mr. Merlyn, I presume?” The man cleared his throat when he got no answer. “Ah, well, I’m sorry. You must be very confused, but I don’t have any answers to your questions. I was only paid to bring the car here and then leave again. So, mission accomplished.”

With that he threw the car key towards Malcolm, who caught it in a reflex. Still too stunned to say anything, he just watched as the man opened the trunk, got out a small bike, waved good-bye and left just like that.

Malcolm sat down on the driver seat and noticed a netbook on the passenger seat. He opened the lid but before he could push any buttons, a programme was opening by itself.

And then his own face stared at him from the screen. It was the most creepy thing he had ever experienced. The man wore his hair differently but other than that he could be his long lost twin.

Malcolm did not know anything about a twin. Rebecca and Tommy had been his small family, and both were dead now. Thea was the only one left, and he needed to go and make sure she was safe.

Strangely, the man on the screen just looked at him, as if waiting for him to stop thinking and actually pay attention.

“Who are you?” he finally asked.

The man on the screen chuckled. “As cliché as it may sound – I’m you, in a nutshell.”

“But how is it possible to talk with myself in a live chat?”

“This isn’t a live chat. It is a pre-recorded one sided conversation, put into a video. See, I have been in your shoes many many years ago. I remember every single question I asked – you will ask – and so I know which answers to give. It’s a bit – complicated.”

Malcolm was stunned to say the least.

“If you know everything that happened to me, then it would have been nice if you actually sent the man a bit earlier, to help with digging me out!”

The man on the screen who had not given a name yet went serious.

“I couldn’t. Everything needs to happen exactly as it already has happened. If we change one single detail, who knows what it would do to the world as you know it, the universe even. The beat of the wings of a butterfly and all that. Trust me.”

And Malcolm felt that he indeed could trust this strange man. There was something about him that said he was speaking the truth, as strange as it sounded. And if you couldn’t trust yourself, who else could you ever trust?

“So, if you are me, and speaking from the future apparently, how come you’re not looking older?”

“How come you are still alive, even though you already bled to death once and choked on dirt how many more times? And while we’re at it – how come you were looking like an older brother to Tommy, but not like a father?”

Malcolm stayed silent as he had no answer. He always had put it down to his good genes. Or Nanda Parbat, that strange place. But clearly there must be more to this story.

“Okay, here’s the deal. I – you – had a different life before. One in which you were a hero in fact, and helped people. Then things… happened… that brought you onto this dark path. I am not proud of what I have done but it did make sense in light of what happened. I needed to forget everything, just wanted to go away from it all, and so I retconned myself. Retcon is a drug that makes you forget. I had aimed to only forget a few years, but apparently the dose was too strong, so I forgot completely about this whole identity. My name’s Jack Harkness by the way. Oh yeah, and you can’t die. Or rather, you can die but you won’t stay dead. No matter what.”

“So how come you remember again now who you are? Were? Will be? My, this is complicated.” Malcolm groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face.

“See the little pill box next to the netbook? It’s a pill that can reverse the effects of the Retcon. Once you take it, you will remember everything. But be prepared, with all the good will also come all the bad, and there is no going back this time. So choose the right moment. But, obviously, one day you have to take the pill. If you don’t, I won’t be here, and I won’t be able to send help, and it would take you days to get out of this desert by foot. Days Thea does not have to be honest. She needs you.”

Thea. Right. Here he was chatting away and she might be still in danger.

“How many more years with her do you give me?”

“It’s not about what I am willing to grant you. You’ll know when the time comes. To be completely open to you, you won’t see her grow old with grandchildren. You’ll have to leave long before that. When she starts noticing that she is getting older but you are not. Do you understand?”

“I promise I’ll take it. But now I really need to go.”

The man that had called himself Jack Harkness smiled. “That’s fine with me. She’s a great girl. And with that I’m saying good-bye. Good luck!”

The screen went dark. Malcolm started the motor. He turned the car around and went back the direction the man had come from, figuring that he must hit a road there somewhere. And then his GPS signal hopefully would pick up and tell him where the heck he was.

They had gone out of their ways to make sure nobody would ever find him again. For Talia al Ghul and the others, Malcolm Merlyn was dead, and he intended to leave it that way. It would make it easier to protect Thea. She deserved a father that was truly there for her.

He’d keep the pill with him wherever he went, in that little pendant he wore around his neck.

And one day a new adventure would begin.

The End


Also published at Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10709096/1/

Also published at Archive of our Own: http://archiveofourown.org/works/2344649

Other Arrow fanfictions:Caught

Heart in the right place

How I met my father

Back (Part 1) Back (Part 2)

The Lives and Deaths of Malcolm Merlyn
.
dieastra: Strauss (Strauss)
Look what has arrived today! Isn't it amazing? If you like one too, you can order it here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePaperPonyPlace

https://twitter.com/Amberinblunderl

There are also several Doctor Who ones and other shows. But I liked this one best. The pose is so powerful! I need to try something like that myself.

 photo P42300042450x600.jpg
dieastra: Strauss (Default)
Look what has arrived today! Isn't it amazing? If you like one too, you can order it here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThePaperPonyPlace

There are also several Doctor Who ones and other shows. But I liked this one best. The pose is so powerful! I need to try something like that myself.

 photo P42300042450x600.jpg

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